Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Years = Drinks
Valentines Day = Sex
Birthday = All of The Above
STORY OF MY LIFE
mom: wow honey you're so beautiful you could get any person you want
people on the internet: you're so pretty why are you single
your crush: get out of my way you demented potato
Everyone on Tumblr is like a pro at photoshop and...
The owner of the Titanic said, "Not even God can...